21 Great Excuses for Not Going to Work

1. "I forgot to take in the Sunday paper, so after initially leaving the house I thought it was Sunday. By the time I had realized that it was in fact Monday, it wasn't worth coming in".

2. "I was locking the door as I left for work when the key snapped in the lock, meaning that I had to call and wait for a locksmith to change the locks - who never turned up".

3. "I now have the high score on every single one of the games that come free with Windows 7, there is no point in me coming in until somebody else in the office beats me".

4. "My five year old son told me that there is a monster under my bed, and I'm not getting out until it goes away".

5. Remember when the dog used to eat your homework almost every week? Well now he "eats my car keys".

6. "My driveway has 12 inches of snow on it...... I know, I know.... amazing isn't it? Apparently it's the only one in the entire state".

7."My favourite goldfish died today, I'm just too devastated to....." *start crying at this point*

8. If you are already void of any pride or dignity, or really this desperate for a day off, apparently one of the most effective excuses is....... "I shat myself on the bus". Expect confidentiality policies to fly out of the window however.

9. "My girlfriends boobs are sore after her recent breast enlargement, I need to stay at home at massage them regularly".

10. "I'm feeling extremely lethargic today, are you sure you want me to come in?"

11. "I lost my last $20 playing online Keno and don't have any money left for the bus. I
will sign up to some free bet offers today and try and win my bus money back for tomorrow".

12. "I..... I...... I've..... I'm..... I am...... Look i just can't fucking handle coming to work today, okay?"

13. "Sorry I can't come to work for a few days, were trying for a baby and the doctor said that this week is our best chance of conception".

14. "I'm upset because my favourite American Idol contestant was voted off". (Yep, this one is real).

15. "I'm tired and want to rest so that I can enjoy the work holiday party tonight". (And, believe it or not, that one was real too).

16. "I can't come to work today because I opened yesterday's newspaper and found my name in the obituary column".

17. "The radio told me that there could be traffic jams this morning, I didn't want to help make everybody else late for work".

18. "There was no way that I was going to lose the parking space outside my house today".

19. "I contracted mono after kissing a mail room intern at the company holiday party, and I suggest the company post some sort of notice to warn others who may have kissed him." (Believe it or not, this one is also real!)

20. "My dog dialed 911, and the police wanted to question me about what 'really' happened." (this is also real!)

21. "I reached into my back to find my birth control pill this morning and accidentally pulled out a sleeping pill, now I am all over the place and am afraid I will fall asleep at the wheel of my car".

We welcome your comments!

21 ways to Detox

1. Lemon
2. Acai Berries
3. Goji Berries
4. Pomegranate
5. Green Vegetables ( broccoli, Brussels sprouts and leaves like spinach and kale)
6. Garlic and Onions
7. Flaxseeds
8. Brazil nuts
9. Milk Thistle
10. White tea
11. Nettles
12. Brown Rice
13. Seaweed
14. Watercress
15. Water
16. Turmeric
17. Dandelion
18. Burdock
19. Legumes (peas, beans and lentils)
20. Fennel
21. Prunes
    

We welcome your comments!

21 things that you really want to know!

In 2011 In Any Event UK are celebrating 21 years in business. As a bit of fun our theme for our bloggs and tweets throughout the year will be 21 things you'll want to know. We’re starting with 21 ways to detox. We have loads of celebrity gossip to dish out but if you have any great suggestions please let us know.

21 Years in Business

In Any Event UK is pleased to announce that 2011 is our 21st year in business.

Watch this space for our interesting blog posts relating to all things 21!